i was planning on enjoying my time exploring more of sydney and buying more things to bring home but, like all other plans, those plans were flushed down the toilet. i end up hopping on a plane back home 2 days before my actual flight date, in a daze. i was confused and my heart is filled with mixed feelings. i was delighted to go home to its comforts but knowing that i will also be coming back to a very sick grannie just makes me feel immensely uncomfortable because as long as i was miles away news of her condition is just news and it is very easy for me to remain very conveniently detached.
now that i am home, it breaks my heart to see someone who was still so strong the last i saw her no longer have the strength to hold a spoon with a steady hand. it scares me to know now how fast someone can dwindle away and all that is left to hold on to will be the spirit inside and all that you have to grip on to the world of the living is your spirit, knowing fully well that no matter how much you try and no matter how strong your spirit might be you will inevitably have to let go one day it's just a question of how soon it happens. so, i suggest that we live life to the fullest now when we have the chance. do what you want to do and try your best to fulfill your dreams while holding your close ones close to your heart. you never know when your last corner of life will be, neither will you know when is theirs. don't live life to regret it as regret is not a beautiful thing.
