Wednesday, May 31, 2006

good to be back?

it has been so long since my last blog that my mind has very effectively erased almost every tiny little detail of this supposingly safe haven of mine. it took me about 20 minutes to remember the website for the blog, an address which made me smile smugly every single time i look at it, you see, i very much like the sound of it. however, no matter how hard i raked my mind for my username and password, those two will never come. i had to get "blogger" to send me my username and then my password to my e-mail account, which only made me realise how easy it is for an impostor to get all those rather precious details of mine, i suppose, and blog on my account. then again, i should probably count my blessings since i wouldn't be here blogging again if it weren't so very convenient and easy to access.
when you pause and think about it, isn't it amazing how easy it is for us to forget things that used to occupy our lives, things that were once important to us but because of the tide of life we were swept away from them? while we are at it, it's not only things that the mind chooses or sometimes unconciously forgets. do you still remember the name of your best friend in nursery? the name of the "best friend" that you were never once seen without, once upon a very long time ago? if you still do then give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back, cos my point is i don't and i bet a lot of ppl out there are just as awful as i am.
i admit that there are things and people that you can never forget that you will never ever forget or want to forget. but then again, you don't have to forget them entirely for them to slowly and steadily drift out of your life, becoming hopefully more than just a passing dream, maybe more like stuff that filled up a past phase of your life. and let's face it, no matter how hard we will to hang on to a phase in life, it just sweeps past us, sometimes so quickly that we didn't even realise it, so quickly that we didn't even have the chance to retaliate. and life is long when you think about it isn't it? how many phases are we about to go through in one life time? how many things and ppl are we going to lose along the way?
maybe one day when we are all old and wrinkled and sitting on an older rocking chair that's hopefully not immensely uncomfortable, looking at the sun setting down the horizon, we'll reminisence about the good old times we had, the sad heartbreaking times, and maybe on the off hand, the mundane days where things weren't good but not too bad either. but don't you wonder what sort of things will actually be important enough to be remembered all the way till then? will we still be bitter about little things that hurt us and not so little things that scared us in the past? or will we look at it all with forgiveness and think to ourselves that it's better that something actually happened than nothing ever happenning at all and cherish the good times that we actually had? i guess, this all depends on what sort of a person we are at the core, doesn't it? i hope that i'll be generous enough to be like the latter. and if you don't then maybe it's time for you to do a bit of self-reflection =)