why would it come as no surprise that i abandoned my blog for a year? nopes.. not that nothing happenned.. tonnes happenned. well, i'm not implying that i'm a walking talking circus. i'm not. but things do happen in a year, monumental things. well, a bit of things that everyone should already know.. man utd won the premiership to my greatest pride and joy of course.
well... but this is my blog and i'm allowed to self-indulge here. it's heart breaking when ppl tell you the truth. the truth is often than not too hard and cold to take. the worst part would be that the bearer of these "truths" might not even know the full extent of the damage dealt, well not that it's their fault, they are not me. it's as simple as that. and in my defense, it's very hard not to hold the slightest grudge against these bearer of "truths". yeah, i know, it sucks.. it's such a horribly lose-lose situation. no wonder ppl choose to not tell "truths". but just for the record, i appreciate being told "truths" i just don't appreciate hearing about it. does that even make sense?
i'm never one to open my life to people. even to my closest of close friends. there's just something about me. i hardly share my innermost thoughts. they all seem so much more safe and well, harmless. i can think about anything i want about anything and they will be noone there to judge, to comment, to disagree. no one at all. the only times i open up, are times when i'm breaking down or broke down and my friends were there at the right time to lend a shoulder. if they were (shall we say) lucky enough to miss the whole scene where i talk incoherently often with tears blurring my eyes so much i cant see and with so many thoughts running through my mind i am barely thinking straight if thinking at all, after my self-imposed time in "prison" where i shut out everything that i possibly can, i would be too eager to forget the whole scene to ever talk about it again esp in detail. i'm sorry what i do make the people that care for me worry. i really am sorry. i feel guilty about it. but i don't know how to break this awful habit. for now, all i can possibly say is i'm sorry...
