you know how you got so many things on your mind for so long and everything starts rolling together becoming one? well, my mind feels like a huge cloud now, a dark bright stormy puffy one.
that said, i am now wondering if we humans, the supposingly smartest species in the world, know what's best for ourselves. but one thing that i know for sure is that we always assume to know what is best for others. i guess it has something to do with how everyone likes to feel that they are one better than everyone around them. well, you can try to justify yourself and deny it. but i know better. see what did i just do? point proven =)
i have nothing against "bloggers" but the word is definitely not pretty and it sounds absolutely terrible. anyway, i noticed that people have the tendency to beat around the bush and write in deep, insightful ways. it's like we are all trying to make the reader guess what's the subtle meaning hidden not so underneath every single thing we write. the only thing that i can come up with to justify that is that we "blog" cos we want people to read it, otherwise we could have just write in a diary and hide it in some hide-able place instead (no offense to those who keep a diary of course). however, even if we do want people to read it, we don't want the people reading it to know exactly what's on our minds, cos that's too easy and way too "desperate", for lack of a better word. so, being the "smart" humans that we are, we decided to put our thoughts right out there but yet play around with our words and in doing that we intiatied a guessing game with our "readers". i would say that that's sarcasm at it's highest level but then again i'll take it back since i don't want to die too young =)
since i am officially a "blogger" (urgh) now, i shall kick off my first blog in full "blogger" style. i believe that life is full of crossroads and full of "what-if"s. i still remember the poem that i had to read in secondary in english literature, it was by robert frost. i loved it. how many of us are courageous enough to go on the road less taken where we can't see anything beyond the next bend? i know i would be the one standing at the crossroads till all the seasons came and passed being the terrible decision-maker that i am. almost everyone i know have (at some point of time) yelled at me in frustration to just buy the darn top that i have been trying on just so we can get out of the shop. i'm sorry, i would just have to blame in on my fickle mind. however, i realised the irony of it all. once the decison is made, no matter how important it is, i'll stick to it and cling to it, almost as if my whole entire life depended on it and that it would crumble before me if i were to let go. call me stubborn but i hate second guessing myself (not because i think so highly of myself or that i believe i can do no wrong, it's more because once i start thinking it over i will most definitely change my very fickle mind) and i loathe regretting. why regret when i have the future to look forward to? right? so once i made a choice, i will sit back, relax and enjoy the ride as much as i can. =) and just for the record, i'm happy with the road that i took most recently even if i can't see a thing after the next bend. the suspense scares me but i shall take one step at a time, braving the bumps on the road and the occasional tree branch which is out to scar me. after all, life isn't all that gloomy, i'm sure the sun has to come out some time. i am determined to believe that life consists of more happy packages than sad duffel bags. =)
smile more. it brightens your day and the people around you =)
1 comment:
Hey there =) Well, firstly, i've never thought that you would blog. hehe. life's full of surprises, ain't it? You know, you have a cute tendency to comment on something by twisting your words. It's lovely because it's not too straightforward. You know what i mean ;) Although when you're back home, i tag along wherever you go, i still wonder at times what are you thinking, what's running through your mind now, and all that. It's mind-torturing sometimes hehe. But the suspense makes me tag along more than ever ;) hehe. oh gawd, and your sarcasm, tsk tsk. worst ever and i learnt from you okie! hehe. guess it runs in the family? hehe. and yes, you are a terrible decision maker. sigh sigh. hehe. i dont know what you meant when you said you took a new road and all that. But i know you'll work it out fine. know why? well, it's simply because sometimes, towards certain aspects of life, you have full determination and i look up to that. so you better not fail cause you'll be failing me too ;)no pressure there my dear ;) hehehehe.(my hyena laugh) I just promised myself that when the time comes and i am forced to face a crossroad in life, i'll respect your opinion, not only mommy's and daddy's. hehe. because i think in many ways, you actually know me better. tagging along is a good hobby aight? ;) hehe. whatever decisions you made, make and will make, as long as you still hold on to this determination and unique personality you have, i'll support you and i'm sure they will turn out right? maybe it won't seem right now, but if you do see just a glimpse of future in it, no harm trying right? btw, you are by far, the smartest person i know ehem, in studies. other than that ar, you know lor hor =p hehe. once again, thanks for all the philosophies in life that you have been instiling into my mind. (some might think you are brainwashing me hehehehe) keep up with the blog! nice and sweet colour and beautiful way of expressing! love ya to bits! muaxx.
*p/s : you better come home as soon as possible before kl get flooded by hurricane ee shan!hehehe, muaxx =)
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